


You Don't Own Me

by rayofsonnshine



Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: Choking, Crack Fic, Demon possession, I'm Sorry, Kink Meme, Kissing, M/M, Rape/Non-con Elements, Somnophilia, i think the tags make it sound worse than it is, idk - Freeform, you should read it tho
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-10
Updated: 2017-09-10
Packaged: 2018-12-26 06:14:29
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,932
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12053028
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rayofsonnshine/pseuds/rayofsonnshine
Summary: After Barba's death threats, Sonny accepts a job as his security detail. After fighting his feelings for long enough, Sonny decides to tell Barba how he feels about him.Basically, this is a demon possession crack fic because the svu fandom doesn't have enough of these. You should read it.Also I tagged it with rape/non con bc Barba's kissing Carisi while being possessed so I think that counts. I just want to be safe.Inspired by the prompt on the barisi kink meme @ http://barisikink.dreamwidth.org/ check it out!!! <3





	You Don't Own Me

**Author's Note:**

> UHH OKAY SO THIS IS BAD AND I HATE MYSELF FOR WRITING IT
> 
> ANYWAY ENJOY
> 
> borderline con/non con
> 
> kinda smutty, mostly angsty
> 
> also choking in this fic bc we need more choking in this fandom
> 
> ok ily bye i'm sorry

Sonny Carisi bites his fingernails. It’s a habit that’s stuck with him since he was a kid. He does it when he’s nervous.

And right now, he’s very nervous. 

*

After Barba’s death threats, he’d been assigned as his personal security detail. He worked the night shift every night, driving Barba home and waiting outside the apartment building in a squad car, fighting off the urge to sleep. Two weeks ago, he’d invited him inside.

It was pouring rain, but Barba went outside for him anyway, carrying an umbrella.

“Would you like to come inside? I feel kinda like shit, knowing you’re out here in the rain and cold.”

Sonny had smiled and shaken his head, saying that he was fine in the car.

“Oh, shut up. You wouldn’t be able to see all the bullets flying at me through the rain anyway. Come up for now. Eat something, at least.”

He’d finally given in, and, like a lost puppy, had trailed behind Barba through the rain into his apartment. Barba ordered takeout, and they sat in his kitchen, eating in silence.

Sonny wasn’t sure, but he figured that the lawyer had just wanted company.

Every night after that, he’d been invited up to the apartment, and spent the night there. On the couch, a few feet away from Barba’s bed.

It was for the ADA’s comfort, so Carisi hardly minded. Plus, the couch was much more comfortable than the squad car. 

Tonight would be different. Sonny had planned everything.

*

He steps onto the elevator and bites his lip. In one hand, he carries a bouquet of flowers. The elevator pings and the doors open on floor 6. Barba’s floor. He walks down the hallway, strongly considering turning around. 

Apartment 6F. Barba’s apartment. 

His heartbeat pounding in his chest, he raises his knuckles to the door. 

“Oh, fuck,” someone groans from inside.

Sonny withdraws his hand, suddenly thankful he hadn’t knocked.

That same voice moans very loudly.

Blushing furiously, Sonny turns on his heel to walk away (and to get as far away as humanly possible from Barba’s apartment). He’s halfway down the hallway, picking up speed as he distances himself more from the room when he skids to a stop, his eyes widening.

A scream.

He rushes back to the room. The piercing scream echoes down the hallway. 

He presses his ear back to the door, and he hears muttered curses in a voice that sounds...not human. 

Another anguished scream makes Sonny jump away from the door as though he’d been electrocuted. 

“Counselor?” He knocks on the door, beginning to panic.

No one answers.

“Barba?” He shouts, the silence somehow more frightening than the screaming. “It’s me--Carisi. Are you okay?”

Still no response.

Sonny pulls away from the door, pacing back and forth in a flurry of emotions. He’s not sure whether to reach for his phone or for his gun.

Another moan, this one quieter. It’s Barba.

Barba’s moan.

What the **fuck**?

“Counselor--” Sonny hammers on the door.

Yet another moan, but this one sounds more like one of pain. 

“Please, Barba, I know you can hear me. Are you alright? Should I call Liv?”

A long silence, then the sound of a lock sliding out of place. He pauses, his hand lingering in front of the doorknob. 

A soft voice purrs from the other side of the door. “Come in, Sonny,”

That’s Barba’s voice.

**He called him Sonny.**

“Uh, I’m not sure…” he hesitates. “This isn’t--this isn’t professional. I’m not really--” he says, making excuses. 

“Sonny, please,” Barba drawls. “Please come in.”

He scratches the back of his head and takes a step away from the door. “Barba, I’m going to call Liv. You drank too much, I don’t want to get you in trouble…”

Silence for a moment. 

“Detective--” Barba shouts, then grunts in pain. “Carisi, help me!”

Sonny reaches for his holster. “Barba, are you okay? Is there someone in the apartment with you?”

Barba groans. “This man came into my apartment. He--he stabbed me. I can’t move, you have to help me!”

Sonny drops the bouquet of flowers he’s holding and grabs his gun. 

“Is the man still in the room with you? Where’d he stab you?”

“In--in the chest,” Barba says, his voice tinged with pain. “Please, Carisi, there’s so much blood. Please--”

His hand hovers over the doorknob. “I need you to stay calm.”

The lawyer whimpers. “Detective, you have to help me, please. It hurts.”

“I’m calling Liv now,” Sonny says through the door. 

“No,” Barba shouts. “I need your help, now! The door’s unlocked, please, just help me!”

Sonny doesn’t know why he’s not inside the room already, but something is telling him not to go.

“Barba, I’m calling Liv right now. Please, just stay calm. I’ll stay right outside until help arrives.”

Silence for a moment, then a small, uncharacteristic sob. “You’re--you’re going to let me die?”

“What?” Sonny says, his finger hovering over Liv’s contact number.

“Carisi, it doesn’t hurt so bad anymore…”

“Wait, what do you mean?” Sonny shoves his phone back in his pocket.

“I--I can’t--” his voice is no louder than a murmur. “I can’t hold on--”

“Rafael, stay with me!” Sonny finally opens the door and steps inside. “Where are you?” 

“I’m--in the bedroom--” Barba says, his voice slightly muffled.

His gun drawn, Sonny walks towards the source of the voice. It’s weird, Barba’s voice sounded so close to the door just a second ago.

“Barba--”

He opens the bedroom door and stumbles inside.

Barba’s sitting on the bed, head turned away from him, hands resting in his lap. There’s no blood.

“You’re--you’re okay?”

“No, can’t you see the blood?” The lawyer’s voice resounds through Carisi’s head, but he’s still turned away from him.

Sonny blinks, and suddenly Barba’s sheets are soaked in blood, as is his suit.

“I’m going to get you out of here,” he rushes over to the bed to help him. “Look at me.”

He doesn’t turn his head.

“Barba, I need you to tell me who did this to you.”

“I don’t--I don’t know, it was dark, just please do something!” He says, his voice breaking. “Why aren’t you helping me? It hurts, Sonny.”

“Counselor, look at me.”

He still doesn’t turn his head.

“Can you move your head?”

“What does it matter?” Barba explodes. “I’m lying here bleeding to death and you’re just standing there?”

Sonny takes a step backward. “Look at me, I need to see your face.”

Barba sighs exaggeratedly. “Damn, I was so close.”

“What?”

The lawyer jerks his head towards Sonny, his eyelids fluttering. “What threw you off?”

“Barba, what--” Sonny stares at him in terror, lost for words.

His eyes shoot open.

**They’re completely black.**

“What the--what the fuck?” Sonny whispers, taking another step backward and bumping into a dresser.

“No place to run, Sonny,” Barba says mockingly, his voice suddenly an octave lower.

He runs to the door, but it’s locked. 

The lawyer throws his head back and laughs. “You’re pathetic.”

“What did you…” Sonny trails off, lost in Barba’s lifeless eyes. “What did you do to him?”

Barba stands up and walks over to the mirror, his limbs jerking slightly, as though he were a marionette. “Couldn’t have chosen anyone better, doncha think?” He drags a hand soaked in blood through his hair, admiring his reflection. “I get it now.”

Carisi’s finger runs along the trigger of the gun.

“Don’t even think about it, Dominick,” Barba’s reflection grins, baring his teeth at Sonny.

He winces at the mention of his name.

“Why would you shoot me? Me, Rafael Barba, famed ADA,” He twirls in the mirror, admiring himself from different angles. “That wouldn’t look very good to the other detectives, now would it?”

“Barba, wake up. Are you--high or something?”

He turns towards him, still grinning. “High? Hm, no. Not quite.” Barba grabs Sonny’s arm and pulls him over to the bed with uncharacteristic strength.

His hand is searing hot. Carisi struggles against his grip, his face contorted in pain.

Barba pushes him down and leans over him, smirking.

“I know what’s inside your head, Dominick. I know everything. I know you want this.”

Sonny gazes up at Barba, terrified, his bright blue eyes darting around the room. “Who--who are you?”

“My name isn’t important,” Barba--or whoever-- says, licking his lips. “I’m just here to make things easier for you. For everyone.”

Sonny struggles against the demon’s grip, feeling his hands burn marks onto his arms, which he holds firmly over Carisi’s head. 

Barba blinks, and suddenly his eyes are back to their normal hazel-green color. His grip loosens on Sonny’s arms. "Detective--" He groans, "Please-- I can't hold on--"

He blinks again, and his eyes are black once more. "You think you're his fucking knight in shining armor, protecting him from those stupid death threats. You obviously don't give a shit about his safety, what he wants."

Sonny stammers. “T-that's not true, I do care, I've been helping you--him. Every night. I’m his security detail."

The demon chuckles, sending a shiver up Carisi’s spine. "You care, oh right. What a nice way to show it, touching yourself 5 feet away from him.”

His eyes shoot open. “What? I don’t! That’s--that’s--ridiculous!” 

The laughter grows louder. Barba leans towards him, letting his tongue slip from his mouth. He licks the side of Sonny’s face, leaving a trail of saliva dripping down his cheek. "Every single fucking night. You just cannot control yourself, can you?" 

"I don't know what you're talking about," Sonny whimpers, terrified.

"Don't act like you don't jack off to the sound of 'the Counselah' breathing 5 feet away from you,” He mimics his Staten Island accent perfectly. “Under the covers, after his breathing slows, when you can tell he's asleep.” 

Carisi can feel the demon’s hot breath on his ear. "Please, please stop…”

"And that one night, that one night--"

Sonny, trying desperately not to listen, screws his eyes shut in pain as Barba’s hands continue burning him.

The lawyer pulls away, leaving Sonny on the bed. He tries to get up, but is held in place by an unseen force. 

“Please, you have to stop. Let him go,” Carisi shouts, struggling against the invisible grip holding him down. 

“You’re not listening, Dominick. I want you to hear every word,” he runs his hands up Sonny’s body, making him wince. 

“Detective--” Barba’s eyes flash back to hazel. “I can’t hold on--it hurts,”

Sonny can feel tears well up in his eyes.

The demon shakes him roughly, forcing him to make eye contact with the void of darkness in Barba's eyes. "That one night, hearing him breathing just wasn't enough for you, was it? You had to--"

"Please don't say it," Sonny pleads.

"You had to go up to him, while he was sleeping, you had to see his face. Brushing his hair to the side as you--"

Carisi is crying now--both in pain from the burns and in shame.

"Praying he wouldn't wake up, and he didn't."

"Don't--" he whispers.

Barba’s holding his arms above his head again, his face inches away from Sonny’s. Their noses are touching. "He was so beautiful, wasn't he, the moonlight falling delicately on his face, perfectly highlighting his cheekbones,"

Sonny nods, attempting to pull away from the tight grasp the demon had on him. 

"You moved the blanket so you could see his body, and you kept standing there, over him."

He desperately tries to pull away from the demon, whimpering. 

"But he never woke up, he never heard you moaning, he never felt your hand against his face--"

"Please, please don't--"

He never woke up. Even when you came all over him."

"Stop," Sonny whimpers. "Please, please," The demon lets go of Sonny's wrists. 

“Why’d you do that, Dominick?”

“I--I don’t know, I’m sorry,” he shouts, tears streaming down his cheeks.

“Detective--” Barba’s face contorts, and his eyes are back to hazel. “You have to help me, please--I want to let go...” 

His eyes turn black once more. “Shut up, we made a deal, Rafael.” 

Sonny turns pale. “Counselor, you need to hold on, **please.** ”

The demon climbs back onto the bed and presses his forehead against Carisi’s. He tries to pull away, but Barba’s hand is now wrapped tightly around his neck. 

“I wish you wouldn’t fight so hard, Dominick. I’m just trying to give you what you want,” he whispers, wrapping his legs around Sonny’s hips.

“I--I don’t want this, it’s not right,” he chokes out.

The demon’s eyes return to normal, and Barba blinks. “Carisi, please, it hurts so bad.” His eyes roll back into his head, replaced by the black ones. 

“Don’t worry about him. Just focus on us right now,” he grabs Sonny’s tie and pulls, forcing him to sit up. 

“Barba, please, you have to snap out of it.”

“He’s--he’s too powerful,” Rafael whimpers, his eyes now huge with fear. “I can’t do it. You have to.”

“What? What do I do?”

Rafael’s eyes dart towards Sonny’s gun, lying next to him on the bed. “Please, Sonny. Please.”

“Now, where were we?” The demon clears his throat and wraps his hand around his tie, pulling him into a rough kiss. 

Sonny turns his head away with some effort, trying desperately to breathe. 

“Don’t pretend like you don’t love it,” he purrs, letting go of the tie and busying himself with undoing the buttons on Carisi’s vest.

While he’s distracted, Sonny tries to grab the gun. It’s just out of reach.

The demon takes off his vest and begins on his shirt. 

“Wait--”

Barba pauses. “What now? We were just starting to have fun.”

Sonny takes a deep breath and puts on his trademark grin. “I have something we can play with, let me grab it.”

The demon rolls off of him, reclining on the bed. “Glad you’re finally in the spirit. What did it for you? It was the tie, wasn’t it?” He pauses, as if lost in thought. “Hearing that story about Barba’s first day at SVU probably turned you on, didn’t it?” He laughs. “ That’s the one with the belt, y’know.”

Carisi paces across the room, his shirt half unbuttoned. “He keeps his belts in this drawer. We can use one of these,” He opens a drawer at random, and finds it filled with belts, just as he’d hoped. He picks out a thick leather one and hands it to Barba.

“Kinky.”

“Tie it around my neck here, and tighten it.”

The demon obeys, tightening it slightly. 

“Tighter.”

He chuckles and tightens it more, then pulls on it, straddling Sonny once more. Now Carisi could reach the gun. He picks it up and wraps his arms around Barba’s neck, pressing the gun against his head.

The demon tugs at the belt, sending a jolt of shock through the detective’s body. “Huh, you really do like that, don’t you,” he smirks and leans in for another kiss.

A million thoughts rush through Sonny’s head as he accepts the kiss, feeling along the trigger of the gun pressed to the side of Barba’s head.

_I have to do it. Barba’s in pain. Pull the trigger._

He pulls the belt tighter. Sonny rests his finger on the trigger, feeling a tear drip down his cheek. 

“Do it,” Barba pleads, his normal voice returning. “Sonny, please,”

The demon pulls the belt even tighter. 

Sonny pulls the trigger.

His grip loosens on the belt, allowing him to gasp for air. Blood spatters against the wall. 

Rafael’s eyes roll into the back of his head, and he collapses on the bed.

Panting, Carisi sits up and buries his head in his arms.

Rafael Barba’s body lies next to him, draped unceremoniously over the bed, his arm dangling to the floor. 

“I’m sorry,” he finally whispers, tears pouring down his face.

*

Barba blinks. “For what?”

Sonny looks around. The blood on the wall disappears, as does the blood soaking the sheets. 

ADA Rafael Barba is sitting on his bed, legs crossed, staring at him in concern.

“Are you okay?”

“Oh my god, you’re alive!” Sonny shouts, wrapping his arms around Barba and pulling him into a hug.

“What…? Of course I am, stupid,” he laughs. “Hey, what are you doing with my belt?”

Sonny looks down and sees the leather belt he’d taken from Barba’s dresser in his hands. “What happened?”

Rafael looks at him worriedly. “Uh, you came to my apartment like 20 minutes ago with flowers. You seemed kind of out of it, so I figured you were tired or something. You took a nap on my bed, even though I told you to sleep on the couch. I came back with coffee for us and here you are, acting like you’ve just seen a ghost.”

Carisi takes the mug of coffee and stares into it. “You don’t know how right you are.”

“Bad dream?”

Sonny nods, sipping from the mug. “Something like that.”

“Thanks for your help with the threats. I feel safer with you here.” He smiles, takes the coffee from him, and pulls the shocked detective into a kiss. Sonny’s eyes shoot open, but he doesn’t pull away until Barba does.

He looks up at Barba, surprised. “Where did that come from?”

“Just a gesture of my appreciation, _Sonny _,” Barba kisses him again, and this time, Carisi closes his eyes. Barba’s eyes turn black for a moment before shifting back to hazel as he pulls away.__


End file.
